I get that ranges have been historically a guys Club but times are changing! Do you know what it’s like to be a woman on the range?
Let’s just talk about the seemingly simple experience of using the bathroom! Wait, no, it’s not a “room” at all! It’s tiny, smelly, dirty, porta potty! Think about this if you will for a minute, from a girl’s perspective.
Before we can even make the trek to the potty we must make sure all our pockets are empty and magazines are stowed somewhere off our bodies. Why? Because we actually have to pull our pants down to our knees. If there is a phone in our back pocket, lip gloss or a loaded magazine on our belt, it’s going down. We don’t have the luxury of just opening the fly and whipping it out like the men do.
I approach the porta-potty and reach for the door, which is unlocked, but when I open the door, I quickly find out that its occupied! Why don’t men like to lock the door? I’m curious. I slam the door shut as fast as I can, back away and apologize as he looks over his shoulder while continuing to do his business. I wait awkwardly for my turn. Look away when he exits and pretend I’m busy fixing my belt so I don’t have to make eye contact!
Moving forward, I enter the zone. I look around quickly and assess the situation. How do I do this without touching anything? And OMG , who POOPS in the porta potty like that? Really? You just got here! Couldn’t you do that before you left home? Ughhhh . Why can’t men hold their poop? Women can go a whole weekend without relieving themselves if they set their mind to it! Someone please explain this to me? On second thought, never mind.
Having grown up in a large family that spent a lot of time camping and hiking, I consider myself a professional squatter. We even had a two seater outhouse at our cabin. However, Trying to squat in a porta potty with a gun in a holster and baseball cap on is like torture! The squatting is usually not a problem until your head hit’s the door. OMG, I touched the door! Ewww. There is not enough room for my hat and me, so I must turn my head to the side. Oh great, now my nose is about an inch away from the urinal! So I close my eyes and hold my breath as I continue to squat and pray that my bladder empties quickly and it’s not one of those never ending pees. Finally, I’m finished, oh thank God! Where is the toilet paper? I have to open my eyes to find it, sometimes it’s on the floor, or sitting next to the toilet, ewwww, it’s touching! Or maybe, there isn’t even any in there at all! Now what? My quads are already killing me from holding the squat so long, no time for drip dry! By the way, since I opened my eyes I notice the floor is wet,
, with what? Pee from the guys with bad aim and now the cuffs of my pants are wet. GROSS!! I forgot to roll them up before I entered the zone. By this time, It’s like 120 Degrees in there and I am sweating bullets. I just want to get the heck out of there as fast as I can. I quickly fumble to get my pants up without my gun falling out of the holster and break out the door! ( without touching it of course, remember?) Zipping, tucking and fastening my belt will have to wait! AHHHHHH I can finally breathe! I finish tucking in my shirt and fastening my belt outside. Why not? Guys do this at bars and restaurants ALL the time! Why? I don’t know, someone please explain this to me.
One last thing I feel needs to be mentioned. You can handle it, we are all adults and it’s a fact of life. This whole debacle of trying to pee becomes 3x’s as complicated if it’s “that time of the month”. Imagine that if you dare!!
If you care to make the bathroom experience for women on your range a little more bearable, here is what you can do:
Have one of the handicapped porta potty’s. They have so much more room! We can squat without being nose to nose with the urinal! We can keep our hat’s on!
Make sure there is toilet paper periodically through out the day!
Make sure the doors lock easily, with minimal touching! ( you know what I ‘m talking about, some of those doors you have to use 2 hands and elbow grease to get them shut and locked!)
Have hand sanitizer.
That’s it! Not too much to ask right?
If you REALLY want to score points with the ladies, designate that handicapped porta potty for women only (watch, it will be magically cleaner) and put a hook or high shelf in it for our “girlie things” so nothing has to touch the floor!
This will make our experience at your range much more pleasant and we will be forever grateful! Just sayin!
*update: Jan 2 2016. I thought it couldn't get any worse... but..... Recently, I went to a match where all the odds were stacked against me. ONE porta potty, (and it was the small kind) Rainy, cold and worst of all.. yes, it was THAT time of the month. There was a line of men waiting for their turn when I approached, desperatetly in need. I was told by an experienced shooter, "Erinn, Do NOT go in there!" "But I have to," I answered. " I'm telling you, DO NOT go in there, it's one of the worst I've ever seen on the range." Hmmm..... This guy has been to many a porta potty's on the range and if he is saying it's bad, I think I'll take his word. What to do now? I go to the car to get some paper towels and head off into the woods, cross a creek, climb a stone wall, navigate carefully over slippery rocks, sticks and mud.. lot's of mud... sighhh... Let me just say this was not a pleasant experience in the cold and rain. Just way too much business to be taking care of totally out in the open!! I had to make this trek 2 more times that day, all equally bad. All said and done, I hope I never hear anyone complain about the girls being high maintenance because we really do have to deal with some tough stuff!! Match director.. please, pretty please, have a key to the club house for extreme cases like this!!
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